Who left the door open?

Here is a little piece of my mind. Don't be afraid. It's better if you close your eyes. I'll tell you when it's over.

Start here -----> and go there ---------->. How's that? Better? Don't tell me what to do! I am on my way! striking out in new directions. Looking for sunlight, shading my eyes from the brightness. Can you hear me coming? I step down the path firmly, resolutely. No stopping me now. Are you ready for me 'cause I'm coming through here and going all the way. To wherever I want to be. Today, tomorrow, they're all just temporary moments. To enjoy, savor but still I go forward into the light. I will follow to the end in mind. Just need to feel my way and focus on the end result. So powerful it's a bit scary.

I am free to be what I want to be and to do what I want to do. --Richard Bach

So many choices its daunting, but I put my foot forward in faith and know I am not walking alone. Trust your heart. When? When. when Now. Now? Now. okay.

A mother's guilt

Too many good movies are coming out and I can't get to them! We're used to being able to go out on the spur of the moment without worrying about a sitter, but that was when big sister was still living here.

My daughter has opted to follow her first real love across the nation to live in COLD weather! Snow! She is in Indiana probably wondering what all the white frozen stuff is and why she's freezing. My southern california native girl who I am hoping comes home soon (xmas was too short) she can't be serious! Ah but she always dressed warm even when it was in the eighties outside. Crazy girl is what she is! Oh well, I remember what it was like to be crazy in love at 19 too! And I survived. Some say its a good experience for her. To see what its like to depend on yourself and not Mom & Dad. Well, maybe I did too good a job at making them independent I guess, since my 2 oldest are out of the house already.

So my 8 year old has become an only child seemingly, and I weigh my guilt at leaving him with someone to go see a movie that's not animated. What with working fulltime and all I'm already a parttime mom. See? Mother's guilt is in abundance. Too much? Too little? Who knows? I am sure I've ruined their lives which they have pointed out throughout their adolescence. You know, when they charge you with being, "the meanest mom in the world!" usually because you won't let them jump off a bridge like all the other kid's parents do.

My mom gave me this old radio/phonograph console she's had for years. She got it at an auction for $15 and it works. She used to listen to her old records on it and kept promising to give it to me. So the other day she asked me when I was going to take it since she's re-doing her living room and wants to clear it out. I laughed and told her the last 2 times she asked me to take it, she ended up turning it on and playing her records so I had told her to keep it so she could listen to her music. This time she insisted that, "No, this time I want you to take it! I got rid of my records." I was bummed 'cause I was hoping she'd give me the records too! I didn't say anything though so she wouldn't feel bad. I have some of my own records I saved once vinyl went out of fashion, but she had some from the fifties and they were nostalgic since these were songs we grew up listening to when she'd play them all afternoon long. She probably sold them at one of her famous garage sales, just to get rid of them without thinking that I might want them. Oh well, she'd just feel bad and there's just too much mother's guilt in the world already!

Anyway, I got it home and it was needing some loving care. I cleaned it, dusted out the back of the cabinet, polished up the wood and it looks real nice. It's really remarkable how well it's held up. It's not a fancy thing, just a nice mahogany with cherry stain cabinet with a am/fm radio and a turntable that plays 78, 33, & 45 rpm. I tried to see how old it is but as near as I can tell it's probably a 1951 Capehart. I did some research on the web, but there's not a lot of info on this model. I'll have to check some collectible books to get more specific info. But what amazes me is this thing still works and sounds pretty good! And its older than I am! Okay, don't be that amazed! I had an old LP of Linda Ronstadt where she recorded Nelson Riddle and it sounds so cool with that music coming out of it. Most of my records are from the70s & 80s so they don't quite "go" with the atmosphere of the console. It doesn't quite cut it to have "Le Freak" by Chic blaring out of this classy little cabinet. Yes, I am a disco queen :-P

A new lease on life

Must start the new year with a fresh new blogpost! My plan is to post more often, but hey, I'm trying to have a life too! We had our new year's eve just the three of us at home watching movies, playing Sequence, eating far too much sugar.

We're supposed to go to some family party today--I'm not really looking forward to that. I think I'm just getting overloaded on family for the holidays. I'm used to seeing them every 3 months (both sides) and this multiple exposure over the month of December is a bit more than I can handle. But ya gotta love 'em, cause without 'em you'd be lost. I think some space and time helps smooth the relationship and keeps it easy. You're there for each other if you need it without too much togetherness making you crazy. How's that for a quote for your needlepoint?

This is the year, no?! The next big chapter in the story of your life! What and how you spend it can be an adventure, comedy, or drama. Me, I love an adventure liberally sprinkled with some comedy. I love to laugh. At myself, at others and especially you! My entire family are what I call "frustrated comedians" except for my little sister, who I once pronounced a few years ago, as the exception to the rule. She plaintively told me, "What?! I'm funny!" and has set out to prove it since. What can I say? They don't try too hard, they are actually funny. And so are many of you. Whether you mean to be or not.

One family story about a different sister goes...she was maybe 7 years old, playing jumprope with some neighborhood kids. It's her turn to jump while the others sing the rhyme. There she is, still in her school dress, jumping for all she's worth trying to get through the entire rhyme when all of a sudden she gets this look on her face of alarm. Down come her panties, right to her ankles. She was mortified and scrambled to pull them up while we all busted out in gales of laughter. The girls turning the rope about tripped her when they pulled the rope from falling on the ground in laughter. This is one of those favorite family legends that gets dusted off to share with new family friends or prospective boyfriends/husbands of the victim. Don't you just love family dynamics?

We put the fun in dysfunctional!

Well, here's hoping you have a wonderful year and if you find yourself in times that are not so wonderful then I hope you can find something to laugh about. It will soothe your soul everytime.